WER3

Over the past three years, God has been doing some amazing things in the lives of many young married couples in my church.

Back in 2006, Sevier Heights did not have an effort focused purposely on meeting the spiritual and community needs of young married couples (couples in their early and mid 20's and without children). This Sunday, from what originally began as a bible fellowship class for newlywed couples, we will celebrate 3 years of His blessing.

And, wow, does God bless those who seek after Him!! This year, what began as a small core is now three separate classes (one early, one late, one for couples with children). Many couples who were new to the church now serve and lead. Couples who, not long ago, did not know each other have become lifelong friends.

This Sunday morning, as we celebrate and look back on all God has done, we eagerly look forward to what the future holds and what He has planned for each of us.

More from Dr. Gary Smalley

Some more of my notes from this past weekend's conference:

92% of loving actions are non-verbal

Loving relationships occur when you feel safe with a person.

Four things causing divorce:
1. Withdrawing during confrontation causing separation
2. Trying to win an argument and escalating the situation
3. Belittling the other person during a discussion
4. Negative beliefs shared during an argument

Three ways for my family to succeed:
1. Hide God's Word in our hearts
2. Family discipleship
3. Community

6 Levels of Communication- Dr. Gary Smalley

My wife and I attended a Smalley Relationship Center conference this past weekend. During the conference, Dr. Gary Smalley mentioned that there are six levels of communication. As you go from the first to the sixth level, the amount of depth in a relationship greatly increases:

1. Cliches (good morning; how are you)

2. Facts (looks like it's going to rain)

3. Opinions- this is the level where most relationships stay; when we find people we disagree with, we often don't build a deeper relationship with them; when we find people we do agree with on many levels, we will often seek to deepen that relationship.

4. Feelings- once two people have worked through their opinions (similarities and differences), they are free to express how they "feel" about certain issues or aspects of life.

5. Needs- only when someone is completely comfortable with another person will they share their vulnerability and express their needs to that person; only after they know that person cares about them.

6. Beliefs- these are the deeply held principles that are the basis for the opinions you have, how you feel about issues and the needs you have in your life.

Tangled Vines

The past couple of nights some guys from a small group I'm in at church, as well as my 5 year old son (trying to teach him early to care about people), have gone to the home of an older lady in our church who needed assistance with some minor repairs and maintenance (mowing, trimming, fix-it projects) around her house.

Last night, one of the guys and I were trimming back a bush; one of those bushes that is a combination rosebush/old tree/vine-covered mass. The kind where, even while wearing work gloves, you can easily get cut because you can't tell what you're dealing with. In the middle of our "trim it to the ground" assault on the bush, we stopped suddenly when we noticed, hidden underneath a cluster of vines, a small bird's nest containing five speckled eggs. I'm amazed that in our effort to complete our work that we even noticed the neatly prepared home of a very industrious mother bird.

And that got me to thinking, how many times in life do I get so focused on a task that I overlook the beauty all around me? Or how often do I not see the forest for the trees? Or, more recently, miss the beautiful eggs and nest hidden beneath tangled vines?

Fun on Friday- Phrases I Try to Avoid Using

Here are some commonly used phrases or cliches that I try to never use, although a couple slip out from time to time:

"give 110%"

"think outside the box"

"uh" or "ummm"

"you know what I'm saying"

"it is what it is"

"take it to the next level"

"that's what I'm talking about"

"we just need to do what we do"

"get outside your comfort zone"

"bring something to the table"

Are there some phrases or cliches that you really dislike? I'd love to know some of the ones that you don't like to use. I'm certain there are some good (or bad) ones I've left off this list.

Statistics to Ponder

Interesting recent statistical data:

According to the Pew Center on the States (based on 2007 statistics), 1 in 31 American adults is included in the correctional population (prison, jail, probation or parole) of the United States; 7.3 million people in total.
GW: 1 in 31 is astounding to me. Take a trip to your local mall food court: 1 in 31. Go to a football game at Neyland Stadium: 1 in 31. That's alot of people.

A recent report by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention shows that, in 2007, almost 40% of all children born in the US were born to single moms.
GW: I'm not even talking biblically or morally here but practically. Common sense tells us that a family (Dad and Mom and children) is best. While some women may choose to parent on their own, far more men shirk their responsibilities. Sadly, they'll never know what they are missing. Grow up, be a man, be a Dad. As the Dad in a two-parent home, I can't imagine how hard it must be for single parents. I also can't imagine how hard it must be on the children.

Good Friday

As we remember Good Friday and the sacrifice of our Savior.........

Recently, without prompting on our part, Parker drew this picture. I realize that the dimensions may not be perfect but his attention to detail was well thought out. It may not show clearly but there are nails (in grey) and blood (in red) on the hands and feet of Jesus as drawn in the photo.

But what is missing may be most telling. In the picture of Christ on the cross, as drawn, Christ does not have a smiling face. What is interesting is that in every picture that Parker draws (every picture of himself; every picture of Mommy, Daddy or Turner; every elephant, bird or giraffe; every picture) everyone has a smiling face. But not Christ on the cross. When we asked why Christ was not smiling, Parker replied, "Because it hurt Jesus to die on the cross".

May we never forget.

All Things Work Together

Romans 8:28 reads, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose". This verse comes in the context of a section of scripture that explains that life is not always easy but, for the Christ-follower, it is always purposeful- that we may be "conformed to the image of His Son" (verse 29). However, we may not always understand the purpose until some time later.

In August 2007, when our son Turner was just two months old, he had to have double hernia repair surgery. When we were told that surgery would be necessary, we began to do some research. We learned this was a fairly standard procedure, not completely uncommon in infant boys. "They do them all the time", one friend offered. What we learned is that hernia repair surgery is considered a minor procedure, except that it's a MAJOR procedure when it's your own child. We were blessed in that Turner's surgery went very well and he has had no other hernia troubles.

Yesterday morning, I went to Children's Hospital to visit a little girl in our church who was heading into surgery. As I stood over her bed, my mind raced back to 20 months ago when Turner had his surgery. In that moment, I realized that part of what God wanted to teach me during Turner's surgery (to completely trust Him) allowed me to help the girl and her family. I was able to tell the girl and her parents about how the surgery staff wears funny hats, how they take good care of you, how much God loves us and how positive our experience at Children's had been. And I realized that all things really do work together.

While I would have preferred that Turner would have never needed surgery, God used that experience in the life of our family to allow me to better comfort a sick little girl. And to represent Him, in His image. He is always at work.

Opening Day

Almost like the changing of the seasons, baseball's Opening Day means spring is here and summer will soon follow.

I'm a Toronto Blue Jays fan. Why does a Knoxville native follow the Blue Jays? The Knoxville area is full of Braves fans. Lots of Knoxvillians follow the Reds or the Cardinals. Of course, you can always find some Yankees or Red Sox fans no matter where you are. But you don't run into many Blue Jays fans. It all goes back to my childhood.

When I was growing up, the major league club in Toronto had a AA farm team in Knoxville, the Knoxville Blue Jays, known as the K-Jays. Back then, on Monday nights during the summer, a family could take their church bulletin from the day before to the K-Jays games and get in free. Free. The whole family. Parking was also free at the old Bill Meyer Stadium. The experience at the ballpark was not necessarily first class. Looking back, poor plumbing, faulty wooden bleachers down the right field line and poor sight lines were all part of the mix. But that's not what I remember most. What I remember most is that I was getting to watch guys who would soon be playing in the major leagues (Cecil Fielder, Jesse Barfield, Fred McGriff and others); great seats (they probably weren't great seats but because so few people went to games on Mondays, the seats seemed pretty great to me); and from time to time we would get ice cream in a mini-batting helmet. There's no better way to eat ice cream!

Fun memories. Go Blue Jays. Enjoy the baseball season.