Misdemeanors and Felonies

I had lunch today with a man in our church to discuss plans for he and his wife to begin a new Bible Fellowship group at our church. While he and I are relatively close in age, he married and started a family in his early 20's while I married just before 30 and our first son was born almost five years later. So while his kids are older (his married daughter is in her mid-20's and his son is in high school while my sons are 8 and 4), our love for being a Dad is the same.

As I am always looking to gather wisdom from those just a bit further down the road from me, I listened intently as he shared about his family and some things he's learned along the way. He talked of always trying to be there for his children, of trying to keep lines of communication open, of trying to prepare his children for the day they'd be out on their own. Of trying to be full of grace when his children made mistakes. To use those times as teachable moments.

In my own parenting, I find myself constantly instructing my sons. "Don't hit that ball off the house again". "Turn the TV down". "Close that door". Sometimes I must repeat these instructions a couple of times to make sure my sons "hear" me. And sometimes, unfortunately, I begin to get a bit frustrated. But I want to be gracious and encouraging and to "major on the majors and minor on the minors". See, I know that one day there will be a significant matter to address with one or both of my sons and when that time comes, they will need to really "hear" me. While I still must instruct and lead, if I constantly bark about small things like an unflushed toilet or a light left on in a bedroom, they may not hear me when they really need to.

Here's what my friend said yesterday that will stick with me for some time. He said he'd always tried not to turn "misdemeanors into felonies". That's a great line and some great wisdom.